


Full Moon

by t_dragon



Category: EXO (Band), Sunmi (Korea Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Character Turned Into Vampire, F/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 14:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_dragon/pseuds/t_dragon
Summary: On the night of the full moon, come to see meBefore the night ends, before sunrise, please hurryOn the night of the full moon, give me your loveBefore the night ends, before sunrise, please hurry





	Full Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously inspired by Sunmi's "Full Moon", both lyrics and MV. Go check it out if you haven't, it's really good! I mean, it is Queen Sunmi, so of course it's good...  
> Not often I write Jongdae, but it happens once in a (full) blue moon!

 Raising a trembling hand to his chest, Jongdae could feel the wild thumping of his heart beneath his fingertips. It felt so strong like this, but he knew it was an illusion. It was not _supposed_ to beat like this, as if it was trying to make its way out of his chest, the feeling inside of him so _hollow._ It barely felt as if his heart was pumping any blood at all, mostly only air, and he knew it was not a good sign.

 The shortness of his breath and the feeling of his throat closing up further enforced that. His lungs felt as if they were restricted, unable to properly fill with the air he so desperately needed.

 Another beat skipped, another zing of pain drawing a muted gasp out of him.

 Was this it? Was this finally it? Had his body finally given up on him, was Death standing behind him, scythe raised to claim him? If so, Jongdae wished the strike would fall soon, to let him escape the pain quickly.

 Head falling back and eyes falling closed, he wetly panted, craving just one easy breath. Just one, to get him through the rest. Could he not at least get that?

 Consciousness starting to slip, like water held in his cupped hands slipping between his fingers, Jongdae forced himself to open his eyes. Vision bleary, he did not see a lot in the moonlight-filled room. Only blurry dark shapes around him, a silhouette against the large windows-

 Wait, was that…

 How fitting. Of course she would be there, watching as he withered away, with no way of helping. He never told her just how serious his condition was, did not want to worry her, but apparently it did not matter in the end.

 Darkness finally pulling him under, Jongdae just hoped she would leave him. His perishing was not something she should have to witness.

 

 Pain was what greeted him as he once more came to, eyelids fluttering in an attempt to open.

 He was still here, stuck in his worthless body. How disappointing.

 Was it too much to ask for the sweet release of death, to painlessly and swiftly pass away in his sleep? Whatever could he have done in his short life to deserve this?

 Finally able to open his eyes, Jongdae tried to drag in a deep breath, to help with the pounding in his head and the tingling in his limbs, but all he managed was a soft wheeze.

 Who would have known that he would finally once more feel sensations in his since long paralyzed limbs as he was slowly suffocating to death? Like a sick joke, giving it back to him just before stealing it all away again.

 Tiredly letting his head fall to the side, eyes burning from being open for too long and tears gathering to try to relieve them, Jongdae tried to look around. He was lying on his bed, his cover pulled up to his chest and tucked in - but he had no recollection whatsoever of how he had gotten there. The scenario of himself having somehow made his way over and into the bed whilst unconscious was not even _close_ to plausible, so it must have been someone else.

 On their own, his eyes wandered to the large windows - and there, still in front of them, she stood. Bathed in moonlight, yet near impossible for him to see.

 And then, she was standing by his bed, peering down at him, hair flying around her head from her speed. Had Jongdae not been sure he had had his eyes open this entire time, he would have thought he had accidentally closed his eyes for a few seconds. But he had not, and she had moved to his side supernaturally fast.

 The suddenness of it had Jongdae gasping, eyes closing and tears finally falling as a coughing fit tore through him. It was painful, so much more painful than anything else so far, making him almost sure that this was what was going to kill him.

 But then it subsided, leaving him gasping for raspy breaths that barely did anything for him. Cold fingertips traced the path of his tears, making Jongdae force his eyes open once more.

 Everything was a bit clearer this time around, and he could make out the now rather familiar features of Sunmi sitting on the edge of his bed. He had not even noticed her sitting down.

 Opening his mouth to try to tell her that she should leave, that he did not want her to see him like this, Jongdae found that he could get nothing out. Throat too dry and vocal cords unmoving, he could not help but wonder if the paralyzation had reached his neck.

 He found some comfort in knowing that it would soon be over then.

 The cool fingertips became a colder palm, gently cupping his cheek, and Jongdae tried to lean into the touch. His body was burning up, sweat building beneath his clothes, and the hand against his skin felt soothing.

 And then Sunmi was leaning closer, as if leaning in for a kiss, and Jongdae wondered if the gods had taken mercy on him and allowed him a first, and last, kiss before he passed into the afterlife. So sad that it was going to happen like this, when he would probably not be able to properly feel all of the sensations, and how horrific for Sunmi. Once more she was going to be left all alone, with only a feeble kiss to remember him by.

 Wanting to feel as much as possible, Jongdae let his eyes close again, focusing his _everything_ on his lips.

 Then something else, something firmer than Jongdae would expect lips to feel like, laid itself across his own parted lips - before hair tickled his face, and an indescribable pain surged through him. Something was tearing through his neck, and he wished he could move, he wished he could _scream_ , but his body was not responding, lying lax and useless as Jongdae was put through pure hell.

 Everything becoming too much, his mind took pity on him, and allowed him to sink down into the darkness again. And hopefully, this time, he would not come back.

 

  _Pain. Pain. Pain._

_Red-hot pain, white-hot pain, burning pain, searing pain._

_Death should not feel this brutal, it was supposed to be a sweet relief from all bodily ailments, all the weight was supposed to be left behind on the mortal plane._

_Was he not… Finally free?_

 

 Images flickered behind closed eyelids, memories, fantasies. His family, his childhood, his tragedy. His declining, his despair, his new-found hope.

 His new-found hope…

 Sunmi.

 His friend. His only friend, his dearest friend. His everything.

 His demise.

 Darkness.

 

 Soft singing, merely above humming, lured him back to the surface. He remembered the voice, the song, though he was sure he had never heard it before.

 Perhaps once, in a dream?

 He wished he could be free.

 He felt a presence next to him, the singing starting up again, louder this time, as cool fingertips brushed through his sweat-dampened hair. He wished he could move, get closer to the soothing touch, but he was restrained by his own body. Chained up in a prison made from his own flesh.

 It had never worked for him before, so why should it work now?

 No, wait… That was not right.

 Sunlight, the feel of grass beneath bare feet… Once upon a time, he had been able to walk, to jog, to run. Play around with his family…

 Until that first fated fall. The first fall that turned into a second one, a third one, until he lost count. Until his legs became weak, until his muscles began to tremble.

 Until he was confined to his wheelchair, told that he was sick, told that he would never get better again. That it would progress, until he finally succumbed to it. That he probably only had a few years left.

 How cruel, to be granted life just to have it taken away before he had had the chance to properly live.

 A soft sigh, and he did not know if it came from himself, or someone else.

  _“Sleep,”_ was whispered, oh so softly, into his ear.

 He did not hold back from slipping into the darkness again. The pain never followed him into the darkness.

 

 The full moon hung heavy in the sky the first time Jongdae saw her.

 Night had lowered itself onto the city, the skies clear and the stars brilliant. Jongdae always enjoyed watching the twinkling little pinpricks of light, so far away, wondering if he would be allowed to dance among them once his body finally gave up.

 Gaze trained on the softly glowing roundness, a faint movement had Jongdae’s head tilt to the side, eyes widening in shock. He did not know what he had expected to move across a rooftop in the middle of the night, but it had for sure not been a _girl._

 Arms outstretched, she balanced across the narrow ridge, tiny feet leisurely sweeping through the air before swinging up to place themselves at the next point in her path. She looked like she was balancing across a low stone fence, a few decimeters off of the ground at most - and not several meters into the air, certain death awaiting her if she happened to plummet down.

 How very peculiar. Why would you put yourself at such a risk?

 Completely entranced with this unknown girl dancing across the roof in front of him, Jongdae sat frozen in place, gaze never wavering, only breaking for the short moment it took for him to blink. Being so focused on her, he saw the exact moment she glanced over, noticed him staring, and froze.

 Their eyes were glued together, his curious and hers terrified. Several heartbeats went by where Jongdae barely even breathed, the girl seeming to not do as well - before she swirled around and dropped down the other side of the roof, out of Jongdae’s sight.

 Gasping in shock and fear, Jongdae leaned forwards, but there was nothing he could do to make sure that she was alright.

 Confined to his wheelchair, hidden away from the world, he could do nothing else but sit there and stare, hoping she would appear again, so very worried.

 Maybe there was another explanation to her fearless balancing and quick escape, an explanation that Jongdae had never contemplated before. But as Jongdae lied in bed, pain engulfing him, he could not help but try to distract himself by contemplation.

 The speed, the balance, the paleness, the _pain…_ Was there more to Sunmi that Jongdae had originally thought?

 

 There was singing again. Another song this time, another song Jongdae could not place, yet somehow still recognized. It was frustrating to know yet not, but the frustration helped against the pain, so Jongdae did not mind too much.

 Somehow managing to open his eyes, vision swimming and bleary, Jongdae let his head fall to the side. Just like the last time, she was standing there, not much more than a silhouette against the bright moonlight, but Jongdae did not need to be able to see her to know that she was watching him. He could feel her gaze, burning into him, so very heavy against his skin.

 Sighing, Jongdae closed his eyes, and allowed the darkness to pull him under once more.

 

 As if his prayers had been answered, Jongdae caught glimpses of the girl every now and then, always during the night. She did not balance across the ridge anymore, but she did sneak around the edges, tiptoeing across impossibly narrow ledges, almost invisible amongst the shadows.

 But Jongdae saw, and Jongdae was intrigued.

 Who was this girl, walking around the roofs as if she had never done anything else in her life, claiming the shadows as her own, wrapped in the cloak of night? He had questions, so many questions, but never did he arrive at any answers.

 Until one night, a month after that first faithful glance, with the moon once more rounded and potent in the night sky. Jongdae had never been good at sleeping during the full moon, too restless, and so he watched from his own isolated perch atop the world, feeling like the prince locked up into a tower, waiting for someone to free him.

 And maybe that was why she was there, to play his very own heroine, appearing from the moonlight haze.

 All of a sudden, she was sitting by the side of his windows, knees pulled up and arms wrapped around her legs. Her white dress was faintly moving in the wind, as was her shoulder-length pitch black hair, but she did not seem bothered by it.

 And all Jongdae could do was _stare._ She was so beautiful, looking like an ethereal dream, making Jongdae’s heart skip a beat before speeding up.

 Tilting her head, as if she had heard something, her eyes sparkled with apprehension and curiosity, a strange mix. But just as Jongdae decided on opening the window, to _talk_ , she had disappeared, around the hip of his roof, and once more out of his sight.

 This time, disappointment was what filled Jongdae’s chest, instead of worry.

 

 How long would this pain last? How long until he could finally be free?

 Jongdae was pretty sure that he managed to groan, because in the next moment he felt something cold against his face, that lovely voice once more back to lull him to sleep.

 And, like each and every time before, he hoped that this time around he would _finally_ pass.

 Considering his luck so far, he was not holding his breath - ironically, considering how hard of a time he was having breathing.

 

 At long last, Jongdae managed to catch her sitting outside of his windows at the same time as he had said windows open to be able to talk.

 The sun had since long gone down, the chill of the night invading his very bones, but Jongdae ignored it. All of his attention was on the pale creature sitting just a few meters away, large and so very dark eyes trained on him.

 As per usual, she was sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, half of her face hidden behind her knees.

 “Hello,” was what Jongdae finally managed to say, catching how the girl’s eyebrows twitched, but not a single word left her lips.

 Was she shy, or unable to speak?

 “My name is Jongdae, Kim Jongdae,” Jongdae continued after a few seconds, knowing she would not greet him back, still hoping for a name. “It’s very nice to finally properly meet you. What’s your name? Do you have one?”

 Time stretched around them, seconds going past so slowly, yet so fast, as Jongdae waited. And with each and every one, his heart sunk in his chest, his hopes being crushed.

 And then, there was a whisper, Jongdae frowning in confusion as he did not immediately realize what it was.

 But when it hit him, he could not help but softly gasp, eyes going wide.

 “Sunmi? Is that your name?” he asked, getting a shy nod in return.

 She had answered. Happiness quickly inflated Jongdae’s heart again, bringing a warm smile to his lips as he relaxed back.

 “Sunmi, that’s a beautiful name,” Jongdae whispered, sure she would be able to hear him. “It really fits you.”

 Face lifting just a few centimeters, it was enough for Jongdae to get a glimpse of a tiny smile. It was barely more than an upturn of lips, but it was there, it was honest, and that was more than enough for Jongdae.

 His own smile widening, Jongdae knew that he most likely acted rather strange, but he just could not help it. He was just so _happy._

 

 If Jongdae had been able to, he would have sighed as he once more surfaced to pain. But his throat had once more been stolen away, mouth refusing to function, to listen to his brain’s commands.

 Or maybe it was his brain refusing to cooperate. Maybe it had its reasons, and Jongdae should not question it, should not try to fight it.

 Too bad that Jongdae did not feel like submitting to himself. He was tired of just lying there, having to endure the pain burning through his body without being able to do anything.

 This could not be a normal death, it had to be unnatural. He knew what the sickness plaguing his body had done to him, would do to him, and he had known what would happen. The paralyzation was supposed to creep up his body, starting from his feet and slowly stretching its tendrils upwards, until it got far enough to wreck too much damage, speeding up the process. It would reach his heart, his lungs, fight them for domination, until they had to succumb, and his life would end through suffocation as he could no longer provide his body with the vital oxygen it needed to function.

 But this, this was different. The pain on the side of his neck, the pain flowing through his body, washing like waves against every little corner of him, showing him parts he had never even known existed within him - that was different. It was not _supposed_ to be like this, and even with his head dazed by pain, his mind still whirled, trying to figure it out.

 The song was back, that first one, so sweet yet sad, calling out to Jongdae. Asking, _begging_ , for him to stay, to come closer. Jongdae obeyed, mind floating away from the concepts it was trying to grasp, the questions it was trying to answer, closer to _her._

 She was like a siren, using her enchanting voice to pull him down into the depths - and he went willingly, completely entranced.

 

 It took a few weeks, two full moons coming and going, before Jongdae got to hear Sunmi’s voice properly for the first time.

 Jongdae had been talking about everything and nothing; about his family, and his unfortunate fate. About how he slowly lost the ability to use his legs. About how his loving family suddenly turned cold towards him, confining him to the furthest part of their mansion, out of the way of them all. And what could he really do, strapped to his wheeled prison?

 He had told her about his brother, his beloved hyung, who continued to visit him - until he no longer did. Never again did Jongdae see him, not even being able to tell him goodbye. Because it was not long after that that Jongdae was moved, into this very apartment, out of the public’s eyes.

 After all, a disabled son would bring nothing good, it was better to pretend he no longer existed. Children died all of the time, and Jongdae would soon be one of them, so it was better to get rid of the burden sooner rather than later.

 A person was paid to discreetly take care of him, to make sure he had enough food and water, and to help him with whatever he could not do on his own, further motivating Jongdae to learn how to do as much as possible on his own. Especially after he noticed how afraid she was of him, as if she thought spending too much time with him would have her end up in the same condition as him. He could tell her that he was not contagious, that it was genetic, but he knew that did not matter, so he never tried. She would not have believed him anyway.

 “I was left alone, too, a long time ago,” Sunmi suddenly spoke up, softly, eyes trained on the sky, as if she was watching her memories play across it. “Everyone I have met since seems to fear me… No one wants to stay, no one wants to become my friend, though I do not know why.”

 “How can someone fear you?” Jongdae blurted before thinking through his words, and surprised, Sunmi turned to him. Deciding that it was simply best to just continue, Jongdae gave a shrug. “How can anyone find you frightening when you look like an angel having descended straight from heaven, here to bless us mere mortals? You’re kind and bright, how could anyone fear that?”

 Sunmi smiled then, something dark to the edges of her smiles that gave Jongdae the distinct feeling that he was missing something, though he did not know what. He did not like that smile, though, of that he was absolutely sure, so he let his mind take control of his mouth once more.

 “Do you want to become my friend?” Jongdae asked, clasping his hands in his lap, needing to do something to keep from fidgeting. “Since no one wants to be our friends, and I don’t find you frightening, how about us becoming friends? Then we won’t have to be alone again.”

 The smile widened, changed, the darkness around the edges disappearing into the brilliance of the largest smile Jongdae had seen on Sunmi’s beautiful face so far. He could not deny the way his heart trembled in his chest, sending shockwaves through his brain - but in the best of ways.

 “I would like that, yes,” Sunmi murmured, putting her cheek on top of her knees as she continued to smile, Jongdae’s own lips responding in kind.

 The rest of the night passed without barely any words, but they were not needed. They basked in the mutual feeling of pure bliss over finally having found someone to call their friend, someone to share everything with. And Jongdae was sure that his heart might be echoing throughout the streets, but it was only Sunmi there to hear it, so he did not mind too much.

 He had nothing to hide from her, did not _want_ to hide anything. He knew this was his last chance at happiness, and he would cling to it until his very last breath.

 

 Jongdae exited unconsciousness to the burning of his body, pain setting him on fire. He knew that as long as he managed to open his eyes, he would see flames across his skin - nothing else could explain the horrible anguish and pain coursing through his veins, all the way from the tips of his toes to the top of his head.

 He might have screamed, he for sure tried to, but the ringing in his ear prevented him from hearing himself. Muscles all seizing up, making him arch on top of his bed, Jongdae was sure that this was it, he was _finally_ dying, and he sobbed in relief.

 And then it all stopped, pain cutting off, leaving _nothing_ behind. Heavy body sinking back against the mattress, and Jongdae was so _utterly_ confused.

 Blinking his eyes open, he realized that he could see perfectly, even though it was obviously in the dead of night, the light low.

 With that realization, others joined in, flooding him. There was a tingling pain in his gums, a hollow feeling in his chest, as well as a strange kind of _hunger_ that he did not recognize.

 Jongdae lifted a hand to his mouth, to try to determine why it was aching, but he did not expect to find sharpened, elongated canines, cutting through his skin almost effortlessly.

 Mind slamming to a halt as he recognized what it was, what he had _become_ , Jongdae flung upright in his bed, moving with a speed and grace he had never experienced before, not even before his legs weakened. Legs that he could now once more feel, toes he could once more _wiggle_ , and he did not know if the happiness over that, or the despair over what he had become was the most overwhelming.

 At the sound of someone speaking next to him, even though he did not register the words, Jongdae snapped his head up, finding Sunmi standing by the side of his bed, a relieved and pleased smile on her lips.

 That was when he realized that even though he could hear _so much_ from outside and all around, he could not hear Sunmi’s heart beat. He _should_ logically be able to, but he could not, and that was the last confirmation needed for him to be sure of his fate.

 Using legs he has not been able to use for so many years, Jongdae hurled himself out of bed, until he was standing with his back pressed against the wall, away from Sunmi. He should feel his heart racing, both from exertion and fear, but he felt nothing but the hollowness.

 His heart was no longer beating, resting useless in his ribcage.

 “W-what did you do to me…?” Jongdae whispered, turning his eyes to Sunmi.

 Shock had melted the smile away from her face, leaving her standing and staring at him in confusion, not saying a single word.

 “ _What did you do to me!_ ” Jongdae roared, and Sunmi flinched from the loudness of his voice, the strength of it.

 “I _saved_ you,” Sunmi managed to finally answer, a light tremor to her voice.

 “You _damned_ me,” Jongdae snarled, once more making Sunmi flinched. “You turned me into a _demon_ , a blood-sucking demon, how is that saving me?!”

 The hurt and upset look on Sunmi’s face had tiny pinpricks of pain pierce Jongdae’s dead heart, but he was too scared, too upset, too _angry_ , to be able to react to that right now.

 “Y-you were dying,” Sunmi stuttered, voice so soft that it would have been impossible for Jongdae to hear it before. Before his death, before his reanimation.

 Because that was what it was; death and reanimation, his body turned into a walking dead. He was a demon, a soulless monster, kept alive through the stealing of the lifeforce of other beings.

 Not hearing Jongdae’s internal conflict, Sunmi continued on. “You were dying, and I _saved_ you. You promised me, never alone again-”

 “I never wanted this!” Jongdae yelled, unable to keep his voice down. Damn what his neighbors thought. “Who are you to steal away my freedom from this world? You kept me here out of _selfishness?_ Because you are _lonely?_ Who gave you the right to try to play God?!”

 Jongdae did not know if demons could cry, but he was starting to think that they probably could. Lower lip trapped between her teeth and eyes glistening, Sunmi looked as if she was on the verge of a breakdown, but Jongdae was not capable of caring about that right now.

 “ _Who gave you the right to turn me into a monster?!_ ”

 “I gave you a second chance at life, a life where you would never have to worry about slowly dying ever again!” Sunmi finally snapped, climbing over the bed so quickly that she was barely more than a blur to Jongdae, his new vision unable to fully keep up with her as she rushed forwards. “I gave you a second chance at life, to do everything you never got to do, to make sure you do not have any regrets!”

 “Second chance at life, what kind of life is it that you’ve oh so graciously granted me?” Jongdae growled, taking the single step forwards needed to be able to get right up in Sunmi’s face. “A life where I need to steal other lives to be able to continue to live on? Oh, what a glorious way to live my life, stealing from others just like how you stole life from me!”

 “You know _nothing!_ ” Sunmi shrieked, the previously so comforting voice twisted into an ugly rendition of the voice of an infernal goddess.

 “Of course I know nothing, since you found it fitting to spring this upon me without leaving me the choice to decide on my own!” Jongdae bellowed, so very close to lashing out. “My legs were stolen from me without my consent, and now my life, how can you _ever_ justify that?!”

 Chest heaving, Sunmi seemed to gasp for air, though Jongdae was more than sure that she did not actually need it. He did not feel any overwhelming need to breathe, merely continuing to do so out of habit.

 “I just wanted to _help_ you,” was what Sunmi finally whispered, anguish heavily interlaced with her words, though Jongdae did not know why she was suffering.

  _He_ had been the one to have his life _and_ death stolen away from him without any consideration for his feelings, so why was Sunmi acting as if she was the victim in all of this?

 “Don’t try to pretend that this was for me, we both know it was for your own sake,” Jongdae scoffed, forcing himself to look away and take a step back, hands balling into fists by his sides.

 He had never been a violent person before, not even while deep in despair, and he was not planning on becoming it now either. He would fight his unwilling destiny until he finally managed to free himself, refusing to allow himself to fully become the monster he had been forced into.

 Another gasp, this one softer, filled with so much pain that Jongdae had to close his eyes.

 “J-Jongdae,” Sunmi weakly tried, but Jongdae simply shook his head, not giving in.

 The next thing he heard was the faint sound of bare feet across wooden floor, before Sunmi disappeared, and Jongdae was left alone with only his rebelling mind to keep him company.

 Reality came crashing down into him, and without the distraction of Sunmi, Jongdae fell to his knees as he clutched at his throat. It was dry, so very dry, the strange hunger amplifying tenfold, hundredfold.

 He knew what it was now. Not hunger, but _thirst._ Thirst for the tepid, ruby-red liquid he could only gain access to by the taking of an innocent life.

 Aching at the mere thought of blood, Jongdae curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his middle as he refused to even move.

 He would not take anyone’s life away like that, like his own had been. He would stay away from humanity, he would figure out a way to end his cursed existence, _before_ he had the chance to even accidentally harm anyone.

 Resolution forming inside of him, determination strong, Jongdae tightened his hold on himself, drily sobbing in his loneliness.

 

 Jongdae was not sure how many hours, how many days, he spent on the floor.

 He was lying far enough away from the windows that the sun never reached him, even though it hurt his eyes. He wondered if vampires truly did burn in the sun, but he could not find the strength to find out.

 He was so incredibly weak, starved, body needing nutrients he would forever refuse it. Maybe vampires could die from starvation. Jongdae would for sure try to find out.

 But as time blurred together even more, Jongdae began to lose grip on reality, and on himself. Insanity was quickly creeping onto him, pushing its claws into him, holding him firmly in its grip. He could hear the humans moving around below him, hearts beating so deliciously, making his mouth salivate, longing for just a single taste.

 He always managed to hold back in the end, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. Soon enough, the beast inside of him would break free, and then slaughter would surely ensue.

 Yet, he could not move, did not _dare_ move. Isolated inside of his apartment, he only had to deal with the relatively few humans around him - but what if he went out into the town? What if he went through street after street filled with alluring scents?

 So many doubts, so many fears. So many things that could go wrong, no matter what he decided on.

 But then, one night, Jongdae’s ears picked up on scurrying. It was faint, something small rushing across the floor, but Jongdae could hear the tiny heart, could smell the blood.

 Having gone too long without anything after having turned, Jongdae could not hold back. Pouncing, instincts taking over, it did not take long before he had caught the intruder, clutching it in his hands as he whimpered and moaned at the fresh blood filling his mouth.

 All too soon it was over, and Jongdae almost growled in annoyance - but then the thirst and insanity cleared somewhat from his mind. Looking down at the mauled body in his hands, Jongdae realized that it was a rat.

 Panicking, he flung the animal away from himself, quickly pushing himself into a corner, body trembling as he wrapped his arms around it.

 He had just fed from a _rat_ , killed it and torn through its flesh, and he felt absolutely disgusted with himself.

 But… At the same time, a rat was better than a person. No matter how much Jongdae felt like puking over his actions, a rat was a much better option. And he _hated_ to admit it.

 

 Every now and then, another rat would appear, Jongdae unwillingly capturing it to drain it. It was not nearly enough, never able to quench his thirst, merely postpone the insanity, but it was all he had.

 After a while, he noticed the pattern to it, to the rats somehow appearing in his apartment. Sure, rats existed all around the town, but the likelihood of them appearing, one by one, whenever he was standing on the precipice of succumbing to insanity, was highly suspicious.

 Sunmi. It had to be Sunmi. After all, who else would it be?

 Concentrating harder, forcing the insanity away, Jongdae would try to pick up on the scents surrounding his little dinners. After a few times, he was positive that the incredibly faint scent he could pick up on belonged to his creator, something about it undeniably Sunmi, even though Jongdae had never really been able to smell it before.

 It was almost enough for him to stop eating the rats. He did not want to feel grateful for the little succubus who tried to make sure that he kept sane, but he also knew that refusing out of spite and anger would lead to nothing good. So he continued to reluctantly accept the offerings, trying to formulate a plan to get out of it all.

 

 Slowly, without him really noticing, Jongdae’s anger began to abate, fear subsiding.

 Yes, it had been terribly unfair of Sunmi to do what she did, but could he really blame her? Had he been in her position, what would he have done? Had Sunmi been the one awaiting her swiftly approaching death, with Jongdae being able to in a twisted kind of way save her, what would have been his decision?

 Sunmi had been alone for a long time, she had told him, and now knowing of her true nature, Jongdae could not help but wonder just _how_ long. Maybe months, maybe years, maybe decades, maybe centuries. Maybe half an eternity.

 Jongdae had only been isolated from his family for a few years, but the absence and longing weighed so heavy on his chest that he did not even want to _try_ to imagine how it might feel for Sunmi. Jongdae had felt so elated over _finally_ gaining a new friend, after years, but how much more excited must Sunmi have felt if she had never really had anyone before?

 The more days that passed, the less strength did Jongdae have to blame the lonely girl who danced across rooftops in the middle of the night, only accompanied by the moon. He was still upset, yes, but understanding and acceptance was quickly growing in his cold heart, reminding him of what he had once felt for her, what was still there even though it was currently buried beneath so many other feelings.

 As he calmed down, Jongdae began to think, to contemplate. He had a lot of time to do so nowadays, without anything else really drawing his attention away - largely courtesy of Sunmi, ironically enough - and so he took advantage of that time and clarity.

 And all of this time spent somewhat locked in his mind led to a few conclusions being made, a few realizations being had, even if nothing was fully had or decided on. It was almost laughable that merely days after Jongdae began to think about everything, it all changed.

 It was like any other day, just a little while after the last rat delivery, when there was a new sound suddenly. Not focusing on anything in particular, Jongdae heard a rustling, the sound of something light sliding across floorboards, and glancing towards his door, he found an envelope lying by it.

 Slowly rising to his feet, putting effort into moving at a slower, a more _human_ pace, Jongdae wandered over to it, bending over to retrieve it. Flipping it open, he found a letter inside, the now unmistakable scent of Sunmi clinging to it. He had learned to recognize it now, rather confident he would be able to pick up even the faintest of trails of it.

 Apprehension and curiosity was what Jongdae felt as he moved back towards the corner where he spent most of his time, as far away from humans and sunlight as possible, sitting down before allowing himself to reach into the envelope and pull the letter out. Unfolding it, his gaze landed on beautifully curved letters, something about the shape of them confirming that Sunmi had been alive a long time ago.

 

_Dearest Jongdae,_

_I know you most surely want nothing to do with me, and I know you were greatly hurt by what I did. I understand your feelings, but please know that I never meant any harm._

_Life was so unfair to you, and I just wanted to give you another chance - but you already know this, I have already told you this. Perhaps I’m hoping for you to maybe have had a change of heart, no matter how slight, and be able to accept this explanation for what it is… I hope for many things, to be honest, because I miss you._

_You know the important parts of my story, and you can probably piece it together better now that you know what I am, so I won’t turn this letter longer than necessary. You were the first person, being, who smiled at me in a really long time, and I just could not bear the thought of losing you so soon, so I turned you, even though I knew I was being selfish. Your accusations from last time we saw each other were neither unfounded nor wrong, which was probably why they hurt so much._

_I hope you can forgive me, and if you can find it in your heart to perhaps do more, I will be waiting for you. You will find me in the place where our gazes first met, I will be there during the next full moon, and my heart hopes you will be there too. I will also understand if you choose not too._

_With utmost longing,_

_Sunmi_

 

 The next full moon would be in two weeks time, Jongdae distractedly remembered. Two weeks to make a decision, a decision that would furthermore change his life - either for better or for worse. And Jongdae did not know which would end up being the better decision to make.

 

~*~

 

 Sunmi had always liked roofs. The higher the roof, the better, in her humble opinion.

 She did not remember much of her mortal life, but she knew that she had always felt so small in it, tiny and insignificant. That probably was a big reason to why she enjoyed strolling across the roofs, because it somewhat made her feel like she was on top of the world, higher than everyone else in several senses of the word.

 But she had also always been alone, and that had not changed no matter how many roofs she had balanced across - until one night, when the full moon hung potent in the sky behind her, and she had accidentally locked gazes with someone who had not been supposed to see her.

 That night, Sunmi had panicked, quickly making her escape, but curiosity had been planted inside of her after that first time. And with each and every time she spent watching the boy, the stronger the curiosity had grown, until it became too much.

 One proper meeting became two, became many, until Sunmi found herself making conversation with an unfamiliar human. But he was not truly unfamiliar, because Sunmi could recognize a lot of similarities between them, the loneliness being the most apparent one. They were both alone and lonely, but that quickly changed.

 Sunmi gained a name, Jongdae gained a name in return, and like the stuttering of Jongdae’s weak heart, their friendship hesitantly laced between them. She had known from the very first skipped heartbeat that very first time she had sat down outside of his window that Jongdae was sick, terminally ill, with not long left, but that had not mattered to her. She was just glad to get a few moments of happiness, glad to be able to offer the same in return for Jongdae’s last few weeks - until it was no longer enough.

 With her enhanced hearing, her ability to notice fluctuations in temperature, Sunmi could follow along as Jongdae slowly developed deeper and deeper feelings for her - but she never expected to develop the same for Jongdae. Not until Jongdae was standing on the edge, one foot already in his too early grave, and Sunmi realized she would not be able to take it. To no longer be able to gaze upon Jongdae’s charming smile, to hear his voice, to join in with his laughter.

 She had come to love so many things about Jongdae, and she knew that she would erase a few of them should she decide to go ahead with the action she contemplated - but would the drawbacks be larger than the benefits? Would she regret acting more than staying passive?

 In the end, Sunmi did not make a conscious decision. In a moment of panic, as she watched Jongdae slip away, she granted him immortality. And immediately, she feared what she had done.

 Never had Sunmi tried to create someone else like her. Not only because she had not had too many opportunities, but also because she was afraid she would fail - or worse, that she would succeed and end up creating what everyone believed her to be.

 A monster.

 But Jongdae, oh so sweet and caring Jongdae, he could not possibly become a heartless monster, could he? That belief, hope, was what Sunmi clung to, as she waited, sang and soothed.

 And she could not say she was overly surprised by the reaction once Jongdae’s transformation was completed, though she was shocked by the pure venom dripping from his normally so gentle voice as it happened.

 Knowing she would be unable to do anything, she had left - but she continued to watch over Jongdae. She was there as he despaired, she was there as he made the decision to never again move, she was there as he sunk deeper into madness - and she was there as he tethered on the edge, about to succumb, and that was when she decided to act.

 Sunmi knew that the rats would not truly be enough, she had tasted them on more than one occasion, but she knew that it would keep the worst away, make sure that Jongdae would stay lucid enough to fight himself. She had half expected him to refuse her little ‘gifts’, but he never did, and for some reason, that reassured her.

 Maybe he would one day find it in himself to forgive her, to understand her. Maybe one day…

 She did not quite know why she had suddenly decided on writing the letter. Part of her was sure that Jongdae would tear it apart without even reading it, another part was sure he would tear it apart _after_ reading it, and a very small part hoped that he would do neither, but perhaps instead take to heart her honest words.

 Unable to take the suspense, Sunmi had fled as soon as she slid the envelope beneath Jongdae’s door. Two weeks, she had given him, and those two weeks she had spent on other roofs, away from Jongdae.

 Until tonight.

 Tonight, the full moon was once more back, hanging heavy in the sky. Standing on the roof from where she had laid eyes on Jongdae for the very first time, Sunmi watched as the moon moved across the sky, lost in her thoughts, waiting.

 Hoping. Wishing. Dreading.

 A low thud had Sunmi look to the side, the presence already enough, but she needed the visual confirmation as well.

 And, like a miracle, was Jongdae standing there, bathing in the soft moonlight. He looked healthier than he ever had before - which was very telling of his condition, considering he looked somewhat starved, still dressed in the wrinkled clothes he had been wearing when she had turned him.

 Relief as well as fear coursed through Sunmi as she just stared. Because even though she was somewhat sure, from the spark in Jongdae’s eyes, that he was there for a certain reason, it might also mean something else.

 He might be there for revenge, an ended life in exchange for a stolen life.

 Slowly, Jongdae began to move forwards, until he was standing just in front of Sunmi, their toes almost touching. Still not saying a single word, he simply leaned towards her - and eyes automatically falling close, Sunmi did not see anything, but she _felt._

 She felt the firm yet soft lips, somewhat chapped, press against her own. Elation flared inside of her cold body as she finally got her answer, and as Jongdae pulled back, Sunmi could not help but smile, the need overwhelming.

 And when she once more opened her eyes, she found her smile mirrored on Jongdae’s lips, so very brilliant, blinding Sunmi to everything else in this bleak, drab world.

 

 Sunmi had always liked roofs. But she was pretty sure that no matter where she walked from here on out, she would feel nothing but happiness.

 With another hand in her own, another voice joining her own, another laughter luring out her own, Sunmi was sure that happiness would forevermore be her companion.

 Turning around, Jongdae and Sunmi began to traverse across the roofs of the town, their whispered sweet nothings drowned out to everyone else by the rain softly falling down around them, washing away their old lives in preparation for their new ones - their new lives intertwined.

 And they lived together happily ever after, never again alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoooooyeeeeed~!


End file.
